Brag about your friends and loved ones TO your friends and loved ones.

Most of us have family members, love partners and friends that do really wonderful things. They rock at at least one thing. And we sometimes tell other folk about all the good things they do:

• Chiiiiiiile, you should have seen the big bouquet of flowers my boo bought for me. No, it’s not my birthday, our anniversary or any “special” day. He said he bought them just ‘cause he loves me. Isn’t that sweet?


• You know, my friends all helped me move – for the third time! I paid for the moving van and they went and picked it up for me! They packed and unpacked everything without a scratch. And all I had to do was give them pizza and beer afterwards. They saved me a lot of money. But more than that, we had fun and I didn’t have any worries. What great friends!


• Look at those children being disrespectful to their parents. I’m glad MY children don’t act that way ‘cause I wouldn’t want to go to jail for homicide!


• You know, she really made that presentation come alive. The whole meeting was going downhill until she stepped in with all that historical data. She really spoke the client’s language, thank goodness! Wow. She saved our bacon!

And on and on and on and on and on. At least once in a while we share big and little things with someone – sometimes even a stranger – about folks who are important in our lives and who did something that made us smile, that met a need, that helped us, that we’re grateful for, that we didn’t have to do ourselves ‘cause they did it, etc. Know what I mean?

It’s wonderful to have something to tell. It’s wonderful to tell it. The question is, are you telling how wonderful your family member, partner and friends are to them – or just to others? Oh yeah, most of us may say things like, “Thank you!” “That’s so sweet.” “I love you.” “You were right on time.” But, do we give the details of what they’ve done and the impact of their actions and the difference they made? Or do we think: “Why do I have to give them the details? They did it! They know.” Do we take the time to ruminate on what the person did – things they either didn’t have to do or didn’t have to do the way and when they did it? I remember seeing this anonymous quote:

“A miracle isn’t just the thing that happened. It’s that it happened when you needed it to happen.”

We’ll tell people every detail of the things they do that are “wrong” and hurt, but not of the things that are “right” and help. And, if we don’t tell them about the wrong, hurtful things, we imprint them on our memories for all time and those things form the bricks and mortar that build the walls between us emotionally and even physically.

Without detailed, loving feedback (given to others and ourselves), over time we may become emotionally damaged, angry, sad, depressed, lonely, withdrawn, numb to other’s pain, resentful, selfish, compassionless, “un” and then “dis”believers in love and joy, happiness and the privilege of being alive, in this moment, on the planet with other beings.

Pretty much everyone acknowledges we are in a financial depression. What about the emotional depression that people from all walks of life, all nations, races and ethnicities, religions and belief systems are experiencing? Our world reflects the cancerous, gangrenous state of our hearts, minds and souls through all the war and violence that we perpetrate on one another and ourselves.

LIFEWORK

1. Create bricks and mortar that are used to build connections to and with one another and ourselves.


2. I challenge and humbly beg you to write and deliver or send, I Appreciate You cards, notes, emails to one other person and one to yourself today and every day for the rest of 2011. And, after you’ve developed the habit, who knows -- perhaps you’ll continue to do it for the rest of your life. Here’s the format:

• Dear (name of the person), I appreciate/value/love you for (state what they did in detail). You/it (state the impact and the difference what they did made to you, others and/or things.) I (state your feelings about what they did AND your feelings about them). Sign, date and send it to them.


• Here are a couple of examples:


• Dear Lorren, I so love and appreciate you for wanting to spend time with me this weekend. Thank you for welcoming me and making me comfortable in your home, for simply knowing that the first stop is always gonna be Chevy’s and a delicious flavor-of-the-season margarita (or two!) and guacamole. Thank you for the open conversations and for working to be sure we both understood one another thoroughly and completely, for being my very best friend. I feel so blessed to be your Mom. You have helped me learn how to be a nurturing Mother, a sagacious woman and truly supportive friend. You are such an important part of my life. You’re are wonderful and so easy to love! Mom. April 8, 2011.


• Dear Arik, I so love and appreciate you for doing the research for me to buy the 4-track recorder. I don’t speak that language. but I know you do. Thank you for speaking with the technician, finding out what I really need, translating that into language that I can understand without getting a headache or wanting to “throw up both my hands” as well as my lunch! Thank you for your advice about which piece of equipment to buy. You have earned and hold my ultimate confidence in you, your knowledge and ability and I’m so grateful to God that you are my personal sound technician. It saves me lots of time and energy to know I can depend up you to help me sort this out and to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you are here to help and guide me through this process of recording tracks and sending them to my recording partner. The confidence and peace of mind I have about this, I owe to you. Thank you, my love. Mom. April 8, 2011

Think about starting and/or ending your day by sharing missives like this with people you know. Make it real! And remember to also write one to yourself. Can you imagine the impact on the person who receives your message of appreciation, valuing and/or love? How will you feel writing it? Allow yourself to smile. It’s its own reward! Can you imagine if every person on the planet – or the tipping point number of people – did this? What impact do you think it would/can/will have on them, families, communities, cities, states, nations?

I love you.

The Practical Purpose of Praise and Worship and Positive Thinking

I’m a practical, bottom-line person. I’m always looking for the ROI (Return On Investment), the business case, etc. In other words, I wanna know why I’m doing something; what it’s worth to me and those people and things I care about and am invested in. I wanna know the WIIFM’s – the What In It For Me things. I mean, really. If I’m gonna have to work hard to change things that are working or that AREN’T working, I wanna know why.

I grew up Southern Baptist – with lots of rights and wrongs, do’s and don’ts. As a child, I was one of the ones asking, “Why?” I was told “God needs our praise and worship.” I was like, “Now what kind of sense does that make? I mean if God is God, then He doesn’t “need” anything. (There was no “she” reference to God back in the day.) Otherwise, He’s not almighty and is just as needy and maybe a candidate for therapy and appropriate medicines as the rest of us.” So, I asked, “Why? Why would a Being who’s omni-everything ‘need’ anything from me?” Here’s what I came up with. God doesn’t “need” our praise and worship from a place of co-dependence. Rather, it’s God’s desire for us to give praise and worship because of what we get in return. When we get into the zone of thanksgiving, appreciation, bounty, happiness, joy, unending possibility, etc., that’s what we begin to create and attract: thanksgiving, appreciation, bounty, happiness, joy, unending possibility, etc.

That’s pretty cool, right. So, why (there’s that question again) is it that even when we think and think and think about things, nothing changes? Ready? It’s ‘cause thinking alone just makes more thinking. How ‘bout that?! If we think long enough without taking aligned action, we’ll earn the right to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. That’s all. And that kind of thinking can fester, putrefy and become “Stinkin’ Thinkin’.”

So, what aligns our reality and experience with our thinking? What do we need to do? That. That’s what we’ve got to do – DO something. We’ve got to take action. Ta daaaaaah! And when those actions are aligned with the outcome we say we want, then and only then do we begin to create the outcome we want vs. creating more thinking only.

Folks, with all the praise and worship we’re doing and with more and more churches, houses of faith, television ministries, prayer lines, meditation circles, therapy sessions, self-help circles and on and on and on popping up every day, if thinking about it would deliver the goods, we’d already have them. And if talking about what we’re thinking about would get it, we’d all be rich, beautiful, slim, young, have the romantic relationship we desire, live where we want, drive the fleet of vehicles we want, and have the job or – dare I say it – the career we want, go on the vacations we want, be pampered as we want, blah, blah, blah. Let’s be clear. I believe ALL these things are helpful, valuable and precious. It’s just that their empowering companion is action.

OK. By the time I was in college, I started reading self-help books about Positive Thinking. Same message, same outcome, same process – thinking activates the possibility of outcome. What was missing many times is the truth that doing delivers outcome.

A few years ago The Secret came out. I own the book and the DVD. It was the rave. What people had problems with was it was all about the Law of Attraction, positive thinking, etc., but not stressing the Law of the Harvest – what you sow is what you reap. Doing yields the harvest.

Whether you approach this from a religious, spiritual, psychological, metaphysical, ROI, WIIFM, pragmatic or good ole common sense perspective, know this: On this third-dimensional planet, thinking alone does not make it so. You gotta do. And realize that not acting and not doing is really acting and doing. Think about that for a second.

LIFEWORK:

1. Think about things that are in your highest good and the highest good of all.
2. See the vision. Make the plan.
3. Do. And make sure the doing is aligned with the vision and the plan and the thinking about what’s the highest good.

PS: Have you noticed there are fewer Lifework steps and they’re getting shorter? What do you think that’s about? I love it.

I love you.

Trust the process. Don't fight the feeling.

So I was thinking, “You ought to write something for the blog.” I sat down at my computer and just stared at the screen. Then I started writing about something that was nice – families reuniting and love and forgiveness, compassion for yourself when you can’t forgive and the thought of loving makes you want to throw up, and yada yada yada yada.


It was shaping up pretty well and all of a sudden, I just said, “No. This is coming from me, not through me. I’m forcing this … doing it because it’s what I think I should do, not what I know I have to do.” Did you catch that difference there – thinking vs. knowing? I became aware of the fact that I was putting a lot of effort into forcing something out. And for all previous blogs, everything just flowed. I get “a hit” and can’t get to the computer fast enough. I never have to work hard at it. It’s always totally invigorating and effortless.


Before I could think twice, I deleted everything. It felt soooo good. And as I breathed, and smiled broadly, that’s when I KNEW what today’s post was going to be about. It’s about allowing, not forcing. It’s about listening to and being led by the ever-present internal, Divine Wisdom vs. thinking or taking action because of some message of “you ought to” that comes from your own or other past, present or anticipated voices.


LIFEWORK:
1. Folks, if it feels like you’re pushing a rock uphill – you are! In fact, you may be pushing a mountain uphill!! I encourage you to allow yourself to get in touch with the tiring effort vs. exhilarating effort that you’re investing. You don’t even have to think a whole lot about it. As you become aware, just stop. Say no.
* If you’re having that experience, you may be working against what’s in your highest good. Will we experience challenges? You betcha. And will some of them be horrific? You betcha. And do we have to be horrified by the horror? Do we have to be sick, tired and exhausted in the midst of a sickening, tiring, exhausting situation? No. Remember that while we are being horrified, sick, tired, whatever, we’re just creating more of those feelings. So, just say “No.”
2. Breathe. There’s a better way. A way out of the situation and a way to begin experiencing it differently even as you are being led through it.
3. Breathe. Be. Release. Listen. Allow. Know. Do. When you follow these steps, you’ll do what it is your highest good and the highest good of all. And I promise you will immediately begin to experience the quality and effectiveness, joy and success in ways and amounts that you wouldn’t have enjoyed had you tried to push and push and push that mountain up the mountain.


I love you.

PS: TO FOLLOWERS: Please make sure I have your email address so I can send you an alert of a new posting. Send it to my email address: livforjoy@yahoo.com.

Let the Love flow.

Last week I was working in Tucson, AZ. Two of my business associates and I decided to visit the shrine at the hospital where Rep. Gabrielle Giffords received treatment. As my colleagues and I approached the shrine, I felt an energetic wall of love. It literally stopped me in my tracks. It was so strong and powerful that I was overwhelmed. With a sharp intake of breath, I told my associates I couldn’t go further and asked them to go ahead without me, which they did. As I stood there, I placed my hand over my heart and my eyes filled with tears as I marveled at the beauty of the quiet, comforting, cocoon of love.

A man who was leaving the shrine passed me and said, “I feel you sister.” I smiled. After walking on a few steps, he turned and came back to me. He asked, “Can I have a hug?” I said, “Oh, baby … .” and opened my arms. We embraced. As we hugged, he began to tremble, then to shake and then to cry. I rocked him … gently as a mother rocks a child who’s been hurt. He said, “Thank you. I needed that .” Then he walked away.

The energy wall that stopped me dissolved and I was released to walk to the shrine. As I walked around, witnessing all the messages of love -- the many candles, flowers and works of art given by people from all across our nation -- I received a message from the Divine, telling me why it was arranged that I was in that place at that time.

You see, that man was alone. He felt alone and lonely. He’d come to the shrine to mourn, to grieve. He felt as if no one loved him, as if he could not find love anywhere and that he was unworthy to love. And he was wrapped tightly in the energy of suicide. He needed to connect in love with another human being. And, in that moment, the Divine allowed that person to be me. When he walked away, the energy had shifted within and around him. He was released to love, to receive love and to be Love.

What did I think? How did I feel? What does it mean to me? I’ll tell you. What a privilege. What a privilege to be allowed to share love with this man. What a blessing to be allowed to bless someone else and to be blessed myself with Love. There’s a level of synergy and win-win-win … win that cannot be measured here. What a precious privilege to be allowed to serve this man. What a humbling thought that all of my life led and prepared me to be fully present, open and allowing of the Spirit. I did not think. I simply obeyed. I didn’t know nor ask why I felt what I felt and did what I did. I heard and obeyed. Those of you who know me know that I fully admit to being what I call “a recovering control queen.” Blind obedience isn’t in my realm of possibility. This wasn’t blind obedience. It was conscious obedience. I wasn’t a puppet. I was a servant who was allowed to serve. Thank you, God. Thank you for that gift and privilege. Thank you for loving me so much and for allowing your Love to flow through me to this man and for the Love that flowed through him to me.

We never know who needs what when. It’s true that sometimes we need to know the answers to the who, what, when, where, why and how questions. And sometimes that information isn’t intelligence, it’s just clutter and serves as a distraction from Divine Wisdom that comes from, with and through Love. Are you listening? Are you open? Do you trust that the Divine Spirit (energy, Love, God, Source, etc.) truly is Love and that that Love is in and available to us all? Connecting us all? Do you allow yourself to be obedient to Love? Are you aware of the privileges and benefits that being obedient to Love brings to you and others?

LIFEWORK:

1. Begin now. Listen. Allow. Respond as you are led. Be. Reap the benefits.

2. Share what’s happening as you are led. That’s part of it. We must spread the word and reality that Love is alive because many believe it’s either dead or in short supply. Join me in dispelling that illusion.

What will your environment, your sphere of influence, your family, loved ones, community, business, region and nation be like when you begin to live Love? This is not a small thing. It is huge. One person at a time being Love is huge. Think of yourself as one, unique, precious, beautiful drop in the sea of Love. Many are parched and dying of thirst for Love. Will you allow yourself to serve them, to help quench their thirst?

I love you.