Follow up to 8-7 Remember Me Blog

Thank you, all, for responding to the 8-7 post! One of the persons who responded directly to me via email said this:

"My question to you, when all is said and done and the message isn't received by the recipient, then what.? That part always bothers me as much as the event or incident that took place. People are so defensive, they do not want to hear what you say and give them even if it is said in love. I can not say thayt my hurts or disappointments are more than the next person, but I can say that they have caused me to be cynical in some respects to the point that it is hard for me to be open and honest with anyone. "

My response:

Beloved, this is precisely what the 8-7 blog is about. The event and initial pain has occurred. As with you, sometimes we address it with the party involved. When we do, and they don't respond, it feels like we've been slashed again, only this time deeper. Even MORE questions about them and ourselves arise, along with MORE judgment, along with MORE "fight or flight" responses. Both these "natural" responses 'cause us to pull back, retreat from fully living in and giving and receiving love. Part of your admitted cynicism (totally understandable, by the way) and the fact that it is "hard for me to be open and honest with anyone" is the outcome for you and many others. Oh yes, there are other responses too. And many times the final answer is that they all lead to our not living fully in love.

As I said on 8-7, it would be wonderful if everyone showed up and took responsibility, participated actively -- if they played nicely. But, since we are living in a dynamic dimension, universe and planet where we have c h o i c e, sometimes others choose not to show up at all and, even if they do, they do't always play nicely.

So, here we are with this question: What is YOUR choice? I find that when I have an attachment -- particularly an emotional attachment -- to the outcome, it's often more difficult for me to let it go, to honor them and respect their choice. I soul search and mind jog until I'm tired and either shut down or explode. Neither of these options are loving to anyone, including myself. When this happens, a little piece of my heart hardens to protect itself and me from further pain. The LIFEWORK I suggested on 8-7 is meant to free us from attachment to outcome, expectation of the other person or situation, the ongoing impact of disappointment and from all future pain and suffering of choices someone else has made. At one point in my life I would have only looked at it as giving my power over to someone else and the fact that the thought of that made me fairly sick at the stomach. As I've embarked on my "spiritual evolution," I find that the worse thing is that I was fairly sick at the soul. And that resolved in my not living in love. Note I do not say my inability, I was/am and we are always able to live in love, we simply or complicatedly decide not to. Those decisions are both conscious and unconcious.

I say, realize you're in a love coma. Wake up! Choose again. This time wisely. That just means, choose to have your human heart, mind and body reaction to disappointment (or whatever). Then, allow the love that is ever-present in your soul to help you surrender to love. (Aztecs, thank you for that word.) Giving up is not the same as surrendering. I'm not suggestiong that you give up your feelings, thoughts, pain and cynicism. I'm asking you to surrender them to your soul, to love, to Love -- which I call God.

Now, how do you do that? There are many healing modalities: mediation, prayer, therapy (soul, body and mind), journaling, group and individual study, etc.

LIFEWORK:
1. CHOOSE to live in and be Love.
2. CHOOSE to find whatever works for you. You'll know it because there is a simultaneous quickening and calming of your spirit, heart and mind.
3. CHOOSE to give your power to love and healing, not building and maintaining a wall around your heart. This leads to "heart attacks." Ever think about that? Aside from birth "defects," people say our inappropriate diets, lack of exercise, etc., lead to heart attacks. That's true. But what leads us down those paths? Wonder if it's sometimes that we are hiding, masking, building walls made of bricks of inappropriate behavior around our hearts and they, responding from a lack of what is appropriate (mainly love) explode, attack us, trying to get our attention to what we are doing to kill ourselves, our love. Hummmmm ...
4. CHOOSE to look at the choices you are making about self-talk, what you participate in (conversations, activities, etc.), then evaluate whether they are increasing or decreasing love.
5. CHOOSE again, this day, this moment. CHOOSE Love.


I love you.