Sticks and Stones ... and Words

You've probably heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Well, I have a question: What did somebody do or say (or not do or say) that prompted the barrage of sticks and stones – and knives, guns, wars and all kinds of abuse – in the first place? Let’s be real. Sticks and stones can DEFINITELY break bones. And words – weeeeeeeeeellll … . What about words?

What words did people grow up hearing and learn to say? What things were they told yesterday that today influence, motivate, result in the drive-by shooting? Alcohol, drug, sexual and power abuse? The beat-down in the alley? War? What did you or others say and do (or NOT say and do) that hurt and twisted someone sooo much that they are aggressively or passively doing and saying hurtful, twisted things to themselves and/or others today … or tomorrow?

What words did people grow up hearing and learn to say? What things were they told yesterday that today influence, motivate, result in the gentle holding of a baby? Sharing food with a “neighbor” they may have never met who lives in another house, or on another street, in another city, state or country? Stopping to help someone repair a flat tire or pick up groceries that have fallen out of a broken bag? Saying, “You’re so beautiful.” to a friend or a perfect stranger without any agenda other than to simply let them know they made your heart sing? Why do people do and say things that uplift, celebrate and make us smile? What did a family member, teacher, coach, life partner, co-worker, customer or stranger say or do to someone yesterday or today that will result in that person showing kindness, understanding or patience to someone else (or themselves) today … or tomorrow?

Which seeds are you planting in the lives of others and into your own life? Which words are you saying and what actions are you taking that begin the birthing process of thoughts and feelings? Are you cultivating hurt and brokenness which sprout guardedness, anger, resentment and fear? Or are you cultivating love and wholeness which sprout openness, safety, curiosity, joy and trust?

LIFEWORK:
1. Think before you speak or act. This will help you avoid the self-talk which often comes after you’ve spoken or acted of “should’a, would’a, could’a” … which can go on for daaays, weeks, months, years and lifetimes.
2. Remember that we “speak” with what we do and say and what we DON’T do and say.
3. Before responding to or initiating conversations (with YOURSELF and/or others), check your intention. And, take a leaf from the teachings of my friend and twin, Richard Friend (Friend & Associates, http://www.friendandassociates.com/a/rich.html ). Ask yourself, what impact do you intend and what behaviors will manifest both? Make sure all three are aligned: your intention, your behaviors and the impact of those behaviors on yourself and others.
4. Realize that deliberate thinking and purposeful intention can be the balm for a broken heart, can avoid breaking a heart or spirit in the first place, can help instead of hurt, can uplift instead of tread upon.

I love you.