Celebration!

Celebrate good times, come on! The lyrics of Kool & The Gang's iconic song come to mind and are soooooo appropriate for this post!

This coming Wednesday, August 18^th, is my birthday. YAY! I get excited about birthdays – mine and everyone else’s. For me, it’s my personal New Year. I take stock, look back over the last 12 months, and celebrate the things I learned and did that helped others or brought them joy, happiness, satisfaction, success and/or love. I look at things I did that brought myself or others pain. I also look at when I was witness to or recipient to joy and sorrow that I did not consciously have a hand in, and how I responded.

After taking these inventories, I express gratitude for each learning and opportunity – and for the good that was experienced as the good, bad and even ugly. Then I answer the question, “Now what?” I mean this is good stuff. Reflecting on 12 months of deliciousness that I digested easily and sometimes that gave me heartburn. After all of that, how will I use what I experienced and learned to experience each day of the next 12 months even more joyfully, more lovingly, more completely. These things are not resolutions, they are much more than that. They are commitments and covenants I make with myself, with God, with creation. The goals are high – I can do it! And as a wise person once said, if you set your sights on the stars, you may fall on the moon, but you’re still on higher ground.

So, this Wednesday, I have a date. A date with myself. The outcomes will provide the direction and goals for the coming 12 months.

Now, of course, after all that work, I can’t just celebrate for one day. Oh no. I believe in celebrating my birthday for 6 months. Then, I begin practicing for the next 6 – how I will celebrate on the next birthday and the 6 months thereafter. Part of the 12-months of celebration is to celebrate everything, all holidays, all birthdays, all anniversaries – everything I can. Notice the energy of people who are celebrating. Infectious in a totally phantasmagorical way! I encourage you to join me. Let me know what you celebrate so I can put it and the date on my calendar!

LIFEWORK:

1. Identify the things in your life that are special, exciting, that you’re grateful for. Any and all of those things.

2. Identify how and when you will celebrate them. Who’s involved? When and how will you celebrate. Remember to include days and times where you celebrate alone. That’s a very powerful, intimate, celebration that strengthens in ways that may astound you.

3. Simply, enjoy your life. Be grateful and go on a gratitude hunt. What’s in your life to be grateful for? If sorrows or regrets come to mind, acknowledge them, then say, “ And, I am grateful for … .” Always finish with a statement of gratitude, no matter how the statement begins. Notice the change in your energy and subsequent experiences.

I love you!!

Follow up to 8-7 Remember Me Blog

Thank you, all, for responding to the 8-7 post! One of the persons who responded directly to me via email said this:

"My question to you, when all is said and done and the message isn't received by the recipient, then what.? That part always bothers me as much as the event or incident that took place. People are so defensive, they do not want to hear what you say and give them even if it is said in love. I can not say thayt my hurts or disappointments are more than the next person, but I can say that they have caused me to be cynical in some respects to the point that it is hard for me to be open and honest with anyone. "

My response:

Beloved, this is precisely what the 8-7 blog is about. The event and initial pain has occurred. As with you, sometimes we address it with the party involved. When we do, and they don't respond, it feels like we've been slashed again, only this time deeper. Even MORE questions about them and ourselves arise, along with MORE judgment, along with MORE "fight or flight" responses. Both these "natural" responses 'cause us to pull back, retreat from fully living in and giving and receiving love. Part of your admitted cynicism (totally understandable, by the way) and the fact that it is "hard for me to be open and honest with anyone" is the outcome for you and many others. Oh yes, there are other responses too. And many times the final answer is that they all lead to our not living fully in love.

As I said on 8-7, it would be wonderful if everyone showed up and took responsibility, participated actively -- if they played nicely. But, since we are living in a dynamic dimension, universe and planet where we have c h o i c e, sometimes others choose not to show up at all and, even if they do, they do't always play nicely.

So, here we are with this question: What is YOUR choice? I find that when I have an attachment -- particularly an emotional attachment -- to the outcome, it's often more difficult for me to let it go, to honor them and respect their choice. I soul search and mind jog until I'm tired and either shut down or explode. Neither of these options are loving to anyone, including myself. When this happens, a little piece of my heart hardens to protect itself and me from further pain. The LIFEWORK I suggested on 8-7 is meant to free us from attachment to outcome, expectation of the other person or situation, the ongoing impact of disappointment and from all future pain and suffering of choices someone else has made. At one point in my life I would have only looked at it as giving my power over to someone else and the fact that the thought of that made me fairly sick at the stomach. As I've embarked on my "spiritual evolution," I find that the worse thing is that I was fairly sick at the soul. And that resolved in my not living in love. Note I do not say my inability, I was/am and we are always able to live in love, we simply or complicatedly decide not to. Those decisions are both conscious and unconcious.

I say, realize you're in a love coma. Wake up! Choose again. This time wisely. That just means, choose to have your human heart, mind and body reaction to disappointment (or whatever). Then, allow the love that is ever-present in your soul to help you surrender to love. (Aztecs, thank you for that word.) Giving up is not the same as surrendering. I'm not suggestiong that you give up your feelings, thoughts, pain and cynicism. I'm asking you to surrender them to your soul, to love, to Love -- which I call God.

Now, how do you do that? There are many healing modalities: mediation, prayer, therapy (soul, body and mind), journaling, group and individual study, etc.

LIFEWORK:
1. CHOOSE to live in and be Love.
2. CHOOSE to find whatever works for you. You'll know it because there is a simultaneous quickening and calming of your spirit, heart and mind.
3. CHOOSE to give your power to love and healing, not building and maintaining a wall around your heart. This leads to "heart attacks." Ever think about that? Aside from birth "defects," people say our inappropriate diets, lack of exercise, etc., lead to heart attacks. That's true. But what leads us down those paths? Wonder if it's sometimes that we are hiding, masking, building walls made of bricks of inappropriate behavior around our hearts and they, responding from a lack of what is appropriate (mainly love) explode, attack us, trying to get our attention to what we are doing to kill ourselves, our love. Hummmmm ...
4. CHOOSE to look at the choices you are making about self-talk, what you participate in (conversations, activities, etc.), then evaluate whether they are increasing or decreasing love.
5. CHOOSE again, this day, this moment. CHOOSE Love.


I love you.

Remember Me

I just saw this movie today. It was one of my Netflix DVD's. It starts off slowly. Then gets really intense. Quick overview:

Father -- Pierce Brosnan; Son -- Robert Pattinson; other wonderful actors including Chris Cooper (who always grabs and keeps my attention); tenderly and powerfully directed by Allen Coulter. It's a story about the tragedies that people and families experience, their struggle to survive and keep hold of themselves as individuals, the swim from the depths pain to the surface and the experience of the first gasp of air after not being able to breathe for what has seemed like a lifetime. It's powerful.


After watching it, I began to think, "What's the most important thing about this picture? What's it's greatest gift and message?" For me, it is:

* When all is said and done, it's ALL about the love. Success, nice. Comfort, wonderful -- and I really do want it! Things (including money), great. But if your heart and mind do not experience love, there's no possibility of experiencing these things at the optimum. Oh you may have a level of enjoyment even a lot of it. But the only way you can experience every drop of enjoyment is when you also experience love. That's it. Bottom line. This blog today is about love -- big picture. You fill in the names. I know who and what I think of. I have a clear picture in my mind. I'm sure about the order in which they rank in my heart.


Let's be real. Things happen in our lives. Alone with joy and happiness, we all experience varying degrees of disappointment, confusion, suffering, pain, tragedy and horror. It's not about a hierarcy. What feels like the end of the world for one may seem like nothing to another. It's so personal. So, don't even bother about trying to understand why something is so important to someone else or try to get them to understand why you're happy or sad about something that's not in their radar field. We all have things that uplife and energize and bring joy. And, in this third dimension, we all have at least one thing that makes us catch or hold our breath or grab our faces (literally or figuratively) like Macaulay Culkin did in the Home Alone movies. Others may dissapoint us, hurt us, scar us; we may do these things to ourselves. But what would you do if you thought you were going to die today. Suppose you only had 4 hours to live. What would you do with those hours? What would you want to say -- or try to say -- to the one that you care for/about? And believe it, if you're still thinking about it/them, you still care.



What would you want to take with you out of this life? Resentment or forgiveness? Hatred or love? Sorrow or joy? Regret or resolve? Uncertainty or certainty? Think about it. Not what do you want to leave behind -- rather, what do you want to take with you? Answer this question: If I only had 4 hours to live and I had the opportunity to address this person/thing that I have unanswered questions about, pain around, etc., so that I could die peacefully, happily and joyfully -- what would I do?

Write your answer to all that out, then speak it, then take action and DO it! If the person you need to reconnect with isn't available physically, emotionally or mentally -- in other words, if they're dead already or if, after you've exhausted all leads and resources, you can't reach them or if when you DO reach them THEY have no interest in resolving, reconciling or healing, you'll have to work to achieve peace within yourself alone. This is waaaaaaaaaaaay hard. It's so much easier when everyone wants to play nice together.

But let's be real, sometimes it just ain't gonna happen in this lifetime. Soooooo, this is where you reach in our out for tapped or untapped resources to work through it to your healing -- your release and relief.

A personal sharing: I had to do this when my Dad died and we had unresolved things between us. It took me 30 days to get through the desire to kill myself (literally, I considered suicide off and on for 30 days. I know that'll shock some people who know me). And it took me three years to get to a place where I could really forgive both myself and him. But do it I did. Know why? 'Cause I was not fully able to participate to the fullest in a love relationship with my children. and that's the most important relationship to me on Earth. They were my motivation to work through it. To breathe and continue breathing, and to live and enjoy life. They were my motivation to "livforjoy."

Sooooooooo, think about a person or people in your life that if you could show up fully so that you're not putting energy into or being distracted because you're guarded, shielded, hurt or suffering, replaying and rehashing the pain; but if you showed up fully, your relationship with them would be so delicious your appetite would be sated for the rest of your life. Let that person/those people be your motivation.





LIFEWORK

1. Look at the things that you're happy, content, joyful about. You get it, whatever is an upper for you. List those people, places and things on paper. What's the upper you experience with and because of them? What's the impact and to/on who or what? What makes it delicious?

2. Look at those sthings that you're not happy, etc., about. Those things that are downers. As with #1, list those people, places and things on paper. What's the downer you experience with and because of them? What's the impact and to/oh who or what? What makes it a downer?

It's very important to acknowledge and honor all your thoughts and feelings. Don't try to rationalize or justify, make excuses for, maximize or minimize. Just be real with yourself. Honor yourself, love yourself enough to admit. Whatever feelings come up, let them. Honor and embrace them. Give them voice. Let your tears come -- they'll serve as part of the healing and joy.

3. Who are your motivators? What do they mean to you? Why are they important to you? What will be the impact to them if you begin to live fully in love? If you do not? What will the impact be to you and your relationship to them if live fully in love? If you do not?

4. Now, here's how you begin to swim to the surface and not stay at the bottom. Ask and answer the question, "If I only had 4 hours to live and I was with the person or in the situation identified in #2 above, what would I and do and say so that when the 4 hours was up, I'd be happy, content, joyful about this person/situation?"

5. Whatever your answer(s), DO IT! You're probably saying, "that's easy for her to say." Yes. It is! And no, I'm not experiencing YOUR pain. But I've had my own and know what I had to do with and for that. It's true, it's easy and fast sometimes and way hard and slow at other times. Can it be done? Can you really live fully in love? Yes.

6. Remind yourself why you're doing all th work. Go back and read (and maybe even add to) #3, above.

7. Hold on to your motivators -- those people and reasons you want to be more fully joyful and joy-filled -- and step into the work. You may have sore muscle for a while, but then, like all exercise, as your muscles build, the "burn" starts to feel good, until there isn't a burn, only warmth. Feel it. That's the warm, the glow of love. Isn't that a song? No? Guess the song is That's the story of love. Well, you get my drift! (-:

8. Build your action plan, then do it. Enlist others as resources ... folk who will help you hold yourself accountable to something that will make a difference in your life and that of others who are important to you.

I love you!

Happy August

What a fantastic month! It just so happens to be the month of my birth. I celebrate my New Year on the 18th. Of course, I celebrate my birth all year long. I believe I should practice for six months before the date and then implement that excellence another six.

What are you doing this month, today to celebrate the opportunity that life affords you?

Lifework:
1. Review your mission/purpose/calling. If you don't know what that is, send me an email and I'll help you identify it. You can reach me at livforjoy@yahoo.com.
2. Take stock of what you've been up to the last six months. List the things that you've invested time and energy in. List things that have had the greatest impact whether long or short duration and things of long duration.
3. Are those things aligned with your mission/purpose/calling?
4. If so, how have they served others, you, the planet and all of creation? How did/do you celebrate them? Do others know about it/them? Would it be advantageous to broaden the network of the knowing?
5. If not, why are you doing them, for how long will you continue, what opportunity did/do they bring?
6. Based on these answers, what will you do (notice I didn't say CAN you do) to get the greatest ROI, bang for your buck? And that means, how will you use these things to bring delight to all of creation, to our host planet, to other people AND to yourself?

I love you!!!!!

Our Wonder-filled, Creative Imagination

I was on a business trip a couple of weeks ago and my son called me. Aside from calling about something really exciting – like the Chicago Blackhawks being in the final running for the Stanley Cup – he only calls with exceptional news – good or bad.

This time – it was before the call about the Blackhawks – he called to say that the lights in my home office, master bedroom and master bath were out. And when I got home it only got worse. The furnace was not working right, so that meant that the AC wasn’t working. NOT good news in the Chicago area, where it was in the 80’s and 100% humidity and sticky, sticky, sticky! I told him I didn’t have a clue as to what was going on and that I’d take care of it when I came home.

Right away, I felt angst. What was wrong? Did I need a new furnace? Was all the wiring going to have to be replaced in my house? How many thousands of dollars was that going to cost? What else would go wrong? Well, I got the answer to one of those questions … the dryer stopped working. So, while we could wash clothes, we had to take them to the Laundromat to be dried. What the hell?!!!!!

I was home for the weekend and had to leave again for the West coast. I was really nervous and decided to just make a call for the electrician to come when I returned -- no need to take bad news and an empty bank account on my trip. Oh yeah. You get the drift. I was ROLLIN’ in fear.

I went on my next business trip to beautiful San Diego. I simply cannot be maudlin there. I mean, really. For me, it’s one of those heaven-on-earth places. And, after spending some quality personal time and work time with one of my favorite people on the planet, I came home on Thursday. The electrician was to come on Friday.

First, I got a free upgrade to First Class on the plane. ALWAYS great news, especially for a 3.5-hour flight. Pampering is one of my favorite past times. When we were about 100 miles from Chicago, we flew into some serious turbulence – you know the kind where the flight attendants have to sit and strap in. Well, I’ve learned that I have the power to control that. I mean REALLY. So, I said my visioning prayer – that the plane and all the air around it was calm and smooth. And I gave thanks for that reality. In less than one minute NO MORE TURBULANCE. Um hum.

Then a thought occurred to me, rather, I heard a small, soft voice said, “Gloria, why do you not have this same sense of calm about the electrical at home? Where is your faith beloved? Put it into my hands. Trust. Allow. Believe. Rely. Relax. Breathe. Be.” Well, I was in a zone. So, I was like, “Well awlrighty then! You asked for it, you got it! You God (and I do me “you” not, “you’re”). Be God.” With that, I went to sleep in my comfy First-class seating.

The next day, the electrician came. Guess what. I didn’t have a wiring problem. It was a service problem. Seems there are two lines that come from the main power source into my home and only one of them was working. So, the electrician spoke to Commonwealth Edison and told them what was wrong. They came out in under an hour and fixed the problem. Everything’s working! The electrician also said he smelled some gas while he was outside. So, I called the gas company and they sent someone out too. That repairman found a gas leak and fixed it too. Everything was repaired within 1.5 hours and all I had to pay was $50 for the electrician’s service call. FANTASTIC!

OK. That’s my story. So, what’s the moral. We have great power – as divine beings – to create healing and calm or hurt and upheaval. Why is it that even when we KNOW that and have experienced our power of healing and calm that sometimes, just sometimes we go to the place of terror, fear, angst, hurt and upheaval? Well, maybe ‘cause we’re human. That’s right. Sometimes, it just ain’t all sweetness and light. And you know what? I’m not beating myself up for that either. I’m grateful to know that I’ve been given the gift of choice – choice of how I will respond, to act or React.

Let me just bottom-line it though. We DO have the gift of choosing where we will place our wonder-filled, creative imagination. And what is our Lifework here? Read on, my love. Read on.

LIFEWORK – when you’re having “bad” thoughts and feelings:
1. When you find you can’t breathe, sleep, eat, think, dream or just be without feelings of fear, apprehension, anxiety, doubt, etc., give thanks!!!! You are in the midst of an opportunity to choose certainty of the Love, bounty and blessing of God, the Universe, the Creator or whatever you call Divine Love.
2. Do not try to push those thoughts and feelings away. Do not try to deny you’re having/experiencing them. Do not deride yourself, the experience, others or anything.

LIFEWORK – when you’re having “good” thoughts and feelings:
1. When you find you’re excited, exhilarated, joy-filled and happy, give thanks!!! You are, again, in the midst of an opportunity to choose certain of the Love, bounty and blessing of God, the Universe, the Creator or whatever you call Divine Love.
2. Do not push those thoughts and feelings away. Do not try to deny you’re having/experiencing them. Do not deride yourself, the experience, others or anything.

Now, here’s a question: Why are the Lifework Steps #1 and 2 the same for both categories? What do you think? Ready? Let me either affirm or inform: Some people believe that life is all one and never the other. In this dimension, we cheat ourselves if we deny any part of our experiences or if we are not able to see the opportunity and reality of Love in every/any experience. The goal is to be able to see and experience fully that Love. Soooooooooooooooooo, if it’s “good” or “bad,” the process is the same:
3. Give thanks, asking for Divine Wisdom that we may learn from, in and with everything.

And what’s our reward? Love, joy, calm, peace. These things are the outgrowths of our seeing, experiencing and choosing them in all of life. In our interactions with others, in relationships with ourselves, in business, in success or failure, in happiness or sorrow, in joy or fear in smiles or tears.

I choose Love. Thank you God for a $50 reminder. What a bargain.

I love you ... Unconditionally!

Heartbroken

What do you do when someone you love and have loved for a long time and/or with great intensity is totally absent from your life? And, what if that absence is about their choice, not because of death or mutual agreement?

I can tell you what I have done. I rationalized, justified, made excuses for, ignored warnings and proofs, tried to see things from the other’s perspective. I went through denial, anger and all the other steps. And, in the end, the reality is the reality. Someone I love, who’s been an important part of your life, someone I’ve grown with and celebrated victories with and cried about defeats with isn’t there. They’re not there because they choose not to be. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve already tried everything I could think of, everything friends and family have suggested and everything countless self-help, spiritual, psychological, philosophical and other books have in them. And, still, my love is not here – because they choose not to be.

How about taking it further. What do you do when, IF you have occasion to connect with the person, and the once warm, fun, passionate behaviors that demonstrate love and concern have now been dummied down to polite exchanges, forced smiles and pregnant pauses signaling the inner conflict of, “What do I do and say now?” And perhaps worse, “Get me the hell out of here!” What do you do when you sense they are experiencing slow death in your presence – when you believe they’re dying for you to go away?

One of our many blessings is to be able to choose who we will be with, who we will love. And, while I’ve found that sometimes who we love is beyond our control, certainly demonstrating it is within our control – at least most of the time.

So, here I am today, following a wonderful weekend, squarely looking at an emptiness in my life, caused by an important relationship – at least to me – that’s missing. In fact, this isn’t just now happening, it’s been happening over years and years. It’s just that now, today, I’ve accepted at a deeper, heart level that my love is really gone. Our relationship is totally dead. It will never return, cannot be revived.

Now I have a choice. I can truly accept it, step away and pray that some miracle will happen (as I’ve done for years), I can continue to deny it. This last is the equivalent to drugging myself to avoid the reality. The fact is, all actions to bridge the gap and restore the relationship to its once full glory have always come from me – never from my love. They have been met with varying degrees of tolerance, but only that. And, on a couple of occasions when my love has reached out to me for help, it has been for just that, help that’s fueled by my love, not for my love. Most of the time the resulting actions were accepted and then unacknowledged by the one I love. That hurts.

Letting go, really letting go is painful for me. REALLY letting go involves looking at my broken heart, feeling it, holding myself because the one I love surely isn’t going to, and striving slowly ahead through the muck of allowing the one I love to be out of my life – because I love them, because I love myself.

I get to say all the stuff I want to myself, to the Divine, to my absent love – in absentia. I get to cry and wail and bitch and moan and wail some more.

Then, I get to pray to the Divine, sipping air through love that is ever present and unending, learning to breath again as I’m given righteous CPR. This is when the “breath of life” is really blown into my lungs and entire being. What would I do, O God, if you weren’t there? The pain would be unbearable.

It is now that I realize that my broken heart is being massaged with holiness and wholeness is possible again. Oh yes, stitches are there. But I can feel the hole being mended. And the fact that I am loved unceasingly by the Creator sustains me and breathes for me until I can sustain and breathe for myself.

Lifework today:
1. Tell God about the things that hurt and trouble you.
2. Repeat step #1 until you’ve exhausted everything. Believe me; the One who created everything can take your moaning, groaning, crying and complaining.
3. Allow yourself to feel everything – without censorship or judgment.
4. Tell The Divine about all those feelings too.
5. Repeat Step #4.
6. Notice the ache in your heart and the lump in your throat is slowly dissolving.
7. Give thanks and praise for lessons learned, for the opportunity to experience love at such a depth that you could feel the same intensity of pain when it is gone.
8. Just give thanks and be grateful for whatever comes to your mind.
9. Repeat all these steps until your broken heart is truly mended.

I love you.

The Power of our Thoughts

One of the songs I learned at Unity Northwest in Des Plaines, IL contains a line that says, "Our thoughts our prayers, and we are always praying." Love that. The question is, what kind of prayers are you praying? What kind of thoughts are you thinking?

How 'bout this -- and let me know if you believe it's true or not -- we are powerful beings. We have the ability to create with our hands. And those things that we create with our hands are first born in our minds. The concept, the thought, the idea, the belief, the "ah-ha!" moment begins in the mind. Then, we usually speak about it with someone -- sometimes that someone is ourselves. Then, we take action and ta-daaaaaaah! It's done. We've created something and it's visible for others to see, or it somehow impacts others in ways that they experience and/feel.

Do you agree that's how it's done? Cool.

So, the question is, since we can and do create/manifest our thoughts, what is it that we can do to realize that we just have that power, that ability and begin to use it to expand our own, created space -- inner and outer? Ready for your lifework? Here it is?

LIFEWORK

1. Sit down in a comfortable setting and position in a quiet, peaceful place. You'd be surprised where these places can be. I commute by plane and often find the bathroom on the plane or even in the airports can be used. A stairwell, or during your cab ride from one place to another, even on the bus or commuter train when you use your earbuds just to block out the noise. If you can, go out into the open air and feel the sun and the breeze upon your face. It may be more difficult to find these locations, depending upon what's going on in your day. AND, it's doable.
2. Become aware of whatever thought or feeling you are having or experiencing at the time.
3, Engage it. That's right. Have a conversation with that thought or feeling. Begin by addressing it in this way, "Beloved, I am thankful and grateful for you and the experience you are bringing me in this moment. What message of love do you have for me?" Continue having this conversation. You will soon find that you will begin to experience calm. And, even if the thought or feeling is "bad" or limiting, you will soon find that at the heart and core of it, there is only love and it WILL express that love to you.
4. Do not abandon the thought or feeling or try to stop it. It is your partner, your helper. WITH it, ask your higher self (I call that God, but whatever you call it works for you, so do that) what is in your highest good. And, there you will have it. THAT is what you can be about creating by thinking, speaking and doing.
5. Enjoy the process. If you have questions or other thoughts and feelings about what you are creating, engage them in the same way and invite them to help in the creation of what is in your highest good.

There you have it. Let me know the changes you notice, experience and have as you incorpirate this Lifework into your life.

Oh, and by the way, the full lyrics of the song I mentioned are:

Our Thoughts Are Prayers, and we are always praying
Our Thoughts Are Prayers, Listen to what you're saying
Seek a higher consciousness, A state of peacefulness
And know that God is always there, And every thought becomes a prayer

I love you!