Unconditionally Perfect

I was watching Oprah one day several years ago. Her guest was Mattie J. T. Stepanek (1990-2004).

The young man was in a wheelchair. He was using breathing apparatus. He looked very small. My heart immediately went out to him. And I thought, ”Poor child.” Then, I listened to him as he spoke.

This young man, every breath seeming to take effort, spoke about love, peace, kindness, compassion. I continued to listen to him. This child, looking and sounding so weak, was strong and beautiful, powerful and poignant. He heart was singing and, as I listened to him, so was mine.

I did some research on Mattie (Matthew Joseph Thaddeus). I had to know about this mighty child, a David in the midst of a world of Goliaths spouting hatred, fear and lack. I found that he started writing poetry when he was three years old. You see, his older brother died and the three-year-old’s response was to write about love and life and the gift of both.

Before he died, Mattie had written thousands of poems and published six books. I call them the heart song books because most of them have the word Heartsong in their title. So appropriate. I recommend these books – all of them. They’re beautiful and a wonderful gift to yourself and anyone you love.

Now, why am I talking about this young man when this blog is titled Unconditionally Perfect? Well, when I first saw him, remember, my reaction was, “poor child.” What I was soon to understand was that this young man was one of the most beautiful spirits and gifts to the world that has ever graced the planet – in my humble opinion.

The Lords of the Akashic Records said all family members must be regarded as perfect -- whatever their physical and mental abilities. Some need more care than others, some are with us longer than others. All is perfect. Imagine if children were told of their perfection no matter what body they are in. Can you imagine how many people would not have eating disorders? Can you imagine how many people would not think they need plastic surgery to “become” beautiful? What would our world be like if everyone looked at the other and saw beauty, opportunity, possibility, glorious uniqueness, and specialty. And suppose the reaction to that was, “You are Unconditionally Perfect.” Suppose we looked at one another we eager eyes, looking upon the opportunities to learn to walk with the genius child and letting them know, You are Unconditionally Perfect.” And suppose we learned to walk with the child who learns best in ways that are “different” from the masses. Suppose that child too felt they were Unconditionally Perfect because that was the spoken and unspoken message they received. Suppose the child who learns differently and is determined to have a "learning disability" was given to understand that they too are – you got it – Unconditionally Perfect? Suppose the experience all these children had from the time of their birth to the time of their death was that they were seen through the eyes of Love. And that the entire family was thankful and grateful for the opportunity to share time when them, love and be loved by them, help and be helped by them, taught and be taught by them, learn from and with them. Can you imagine how egos and self-esteem would be shaped? Can you imagine how that child might look at a challenge in school or when learning to use a new piece of equipment or just learning to walk or to blink their eyes? I’m wondering how different the lives of psychologists, psychiatrists, ministers, coaches, teachers and other professionals who work with people who have mental, physical, emotional “issues” might be.

Imagine if from the time of your birth you were told, “You are Unconditionally Perfect.” How would your life be different?

LIFEWORK: Today, the lifework is a little different. You can make a continuum if you wish. By now, you’ve probably figured out how I would suggest you use it. The work The Lords recommended was that you:

1. Journal about you, about your being Unconditionally Perfect. If your face is scrunched up and if your breathing has changed, remember to breathe slowly and deeply. Relax. Remember, things we think of as Imperfect are exactly what they ought to be to give us and those around and with us the opportunity to grow in love, responsibility, compassion, acceptance and acknowledgement. Do you have difficulty taking time to “smell the roses?” Do you acknowledge others’ accomplishments but not your own? Can you graciously accept a compliment without apologizing or minimizing it or deflecting? This is an opportunity for you to be thankful and grateful for you being just as you are -- beauty spots, warts and all. If there’s something about yourself that you do not like or that is not serving your highest good, thank whatever it is for the perfect opportunity it provides for you to grow or learn or to make different choices and decisions. I guarantee you whatever it is, the lessons you learn because of it will help you in your interactions with others. As for myself, I was in a totally inappropriate love relationship for years. Now that I’m finally out of it, I thank God. I also thank my partner for giving me the perfect opportunity to see how I had held others in judgment about decisions they made that I thought were unhealthy for them. I used to say, “I would NEVER be with him.” And, “If he did that to me I’d ….” And, “Why do you stay in that mess?!” I had so much judgment it could have filled up the Grand Canyon and spilled over. Now, when I see someone who is making choices that I believe are hurtful to themselves or others, I hold them in love and compassion – not judgment. They’re doing what they can and need to do in this moment. I am happy for the perfect opportunity I have to support them and love them and hold the space for them to be. They don’t have to justify, make excuses or feel badly – not for me. If they need to do that, it will be for them. I see them as Unconditionally Perfect and the experiences are Unconditionally Perfect for their development as a human being, and to help me grow in my own perfection.

2. Tell at least one person each day about something they have done that you experienced as perfect. Let them know how they have impacted you and/or someone or something else. And, with grateful appreciation, please let them know you see them as Unconditionally Perfect in this area or about this thing. It might be that you thank them for the opportunity to see things differently or to have a different experience. As you do this, you will find more and more that you will see perfection around you – and that will be a blessing for and to the person you are speaking with, to you, to the environment and (remember the Butterfly Effect) to the planet. I got my hair cut today and told my stylist her work reminds me of the perfection of Michelangelo’s David. As he looked at the block of marble and reportedly said he removed everything that didn’t belong, I told her that is how she styles. She simply cuts away everything that doesn’t belong in her vision, and it’s always a masterpiece, always perfect. You should have seen her smile! It’s easy, folks. Make it real.

Please share with us your stories of the Unconditional Perfection of yourself and others. I’m eager to read them. I know they will be great, wonderful and perfect because, after all, you are Unconditionally Perfect!